The Worlds Got Me Dizzy Again

Well if "dizzy" didn't describe my life a few days ago it sure does now. There is something about the utter exhaustion that RA training does to my body that feels unlike anything ever. Probably cause it's a self induced exhaustion. I love it...I hate it. It's part of what makes my life interesting.

People ask me a lot why I'm an RA. I've been trying to figure out exactly why myself lately. I'm not gunna lie. There are times when I wake up in the middle of the night to my phone ringing thinking, "Why the heck do I do this to myself." Or when all my friends are hanging out on the weekend and I can't go cause I'm on duty. Or when friends ask me why I've not been around lately...that's the worst one. Cause as much as I care about my friends, my job has to come first. I feel like I'm letting them down on those nights. Those night suck. Those night make me want to kiss Reslife goodbye and never look back.

But if it was all bad no one would do it. I thought for a long time that the biggest reason was for the money incentive, but when I think about coming back next year even, it's not the money I'm thinking about.

I think about the residents that come in my room crying just to talk about a crappy test or a broken heart. I think about the residents that come running into my room, slam the door, lock it, and tell me not to open it for their roommate for anything. I think about the residents who get stuck on the top bunk and laugh their way down after 15 minutes. I think about the residents that dress up as Disney Princesses with me. I think about the residents that are finding out who they are gunna be, who are exploring college, who stay up late playing video games, who dress up as anima characters and take pictures.

That's really why I do my job. I can ramble on about the incentives and the money, but I don't much care about that stuff. It's the girls that I get to see break out of their shells. It's so much fun!

And so I sit in my room and wait for the floor to fill back up and another semester of adventures to start. They'll be those 5 am calls that I hate and the nights I can't head over to Potter's for some coffee....but they'll be those Disney Scene-It nights too. Exciting! Bring it on Spring semester!

Inspiration

Landlocked Blues - Bright Eyes

photo curtosey of flickr user Nick Scribner http://www.flickr.com/photos/scribner/2990360882/