Friday, August 27, 2010

But willing to be brave, brave enough for love

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And sometimes I forget that love is the most powerful thing that exists in the spiritual or physical realm.

And call me a nerd or a musical buff, but anything that makes me feel like they can deserves my attention.

After all:

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility."

"It is an acknowledgment of the beauty of the universe" and the task of each poet is to reveal this beauty. "It is a task light and easy to him who looks at the world in the spirit of love."

"Poetry is the most philosophic of all writing; its object is truth." - William Wordworth

I want to live my life like a spontaneous poem that God is in the midst of writing.

photo props Megan Mazzol

Brave Enough for Love - Jane Eyre (terrible quality, beautiful song)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

No one else can speak the words on your lips

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And yet the prospect of studying does not intrigue me. And yet I procrastinate instead of write the stories down that I should be writing down. The stories that I promised myself I would write down.

I love stories. But is that enough to make it my major? I feel like one fell swoop could take me out and I would loose confidence and my will to push through and let my writing be read.

People tell me:

"If you don't learn to like yourself, how will anyone else?" - Elizabeth East

I just want to make sure I have something to say. I just want to make sure that you see what I see.

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Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'm ready now to fly

In a life with school book reports, melodramatic break-ups, late nights at coffee houses, and guitar practices. When I can hardly keep my eyes open lying under the stars and looking for meteors or when I'm lying in bed kicking my feet back and forth under the blankets, not able to sleep, worrying about the final I have in the morning.

When I actually sit back and examine myself and the people around me, look at the 1/2 birthdays and the rolfball games, look at the times that I've moved and the times I've come home...

photo props we heart it greatest fear is living an ordinary life.

Dream - Pricilla Ahn

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

I wrote a note to tell you how you matter

Once again with the Cassie's Therapy Video. I Think the only reason I do this is because I'm always entertained by her quirky and beautiful way of looking at the world (Cassie that is.)

Rule 1: Tag three friends

Maci: cause she didn't do this last time.
Camber: cause she's my new friends and old roomate and I love exploring her brain
Vicki: cause I know she can use a little ray of sunshine. MWAH!

Rule 2: Fill in the non-bolded areas with your own thoughts. Watch Cassie's Therapy Video from the top link to see the original. Below is mine.

Rule 3: Enjoy exploring your own brain. It's rather fun.

abracadabra, wow!
I like girls with colorful hair and boys with music I've never heard before.

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i like stuffed animals out of the claw machine.
i like bubbles blown while lying in bed.
i like Giraffes with tongues out.

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i like cuddling with animals.
i like homemade pumpkin bread.
i like TOMS shoes.
i like running barefoot outside in the rain to catch the ice cream man.
i like we heart it.
i like coloring Disney Princess coloring pages.
i like making my bed in the morning.

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i like picking the first pumpkin of the year.
i love Africa and Bena Banana.
today I felt beautiful, inside and out.
in some ways, i love everything
its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
i like things that i like but i love everything
there's more choice in like
cause even the worst things have things you love in them
i don't know what you mean about things i hate
i hate the smell of nursing homes.
i hate lazy days afterward.
i hate craving Chick-Fil-A when it's closed.
i hate negativity.
i hate having winter after New Years.
i hate being forgotten, but in ways, it's sometimes easier than having someone see all of you.
i hate Joseph Kony
i hate not being able to sneeze when you have to.
i hate this, wow...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Swing open your chest and let it in, just let the love begin

Anxious feelings are of an unusual make-up.

They're normal. They are usually a sign that you really care and you genuinely want things to work out for the best. Like worrying about a family member, a new job, or even a cute little Cocker Spaniel that likes to shove his ball under the couch.

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Jesus says not to have anxious feelings over anything. But sometimes they feel right. They feel like you are caring about something. Like if you weren't anxious then you obviously don't care.

I'm trying to learn that guilt is just as much a bad feeling as anxiousness.

A fun little hippie with dreds reminded me the other day that no matter what happens, things will always work out for the best. There are only two tubes in life that occurances can come down, things that are blessings or things that Jesus will use to bless you.


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Just think of all those people you could be loving in the time you took to be anxious.

Oh, and just FYI:

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Now go love somebody!

Everybody - Ingrid Michaelson

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Don't hold your head so low that you can't see the sky

Sometimes I forget that there is really no good reason to lose hope in life.

But sometimes I lose it anyway, cause hope is hard. Real hard.

To hope is to open the door to getting hurt. I know so many people that feel that little bubble of goodness isn't worth the risk of getting it burst and scattered everywhere.

I know it hurts to hope sometimes. I know that the little bubble that hope creates that lives inside your chest next to your heart is fragile. I know the more it expands the more it hurts when it pops.


"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

Sometimes it kinda feels like you're up against all odds with hope.

But please...for me...

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Mr. Blue - Catherine Feeny (please love this music video)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Where you invest your love, you invest your life

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I like the feeling of being lost. Sometimes I'll drive for hours purposefully trying to get lost. Because if I'm lost then it really is only just me. I'm truly alone.

Extra points if you're outside of cell service.

It times like that I remember that Jesus isn't a safe God.

I think getting lost in Uganda sounds like an adventure.

Or maybe just in my own kitchen.

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Sometimes I agree with the hippie:

"i wish i was brave enough to leave
sell everything, pack my bag and buy a ticket to the edges
never know when i'm coming back
or if i ever will"

Music to get lost to.

Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

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I'm completely moved in. It's been 2 days and I have a fully stocked fridge, decorated apartment, and not a box in sight. But it's kind an empty feeling. I haven't felt like myself. I have felt different.

I think I'm scared I'm growing up a little too much. So much responsibility: pay rent, feed the dog, buy groceries.

I was talking to mom, hoping to make myself feel better.

But you know what made me feel much better. After I got off the phone with mom, I turned on the TV and Hannah Montana was on.

Yes, I do believe that I'm just the right amount of grown up.

Airplanes - B.o.B