Friday, March 12, 2010

All I want is the wind in my hair, to face the fear but, not feel scared

A lot has happened in 24 hours. A lot of good least I think so.

I got a call from the head of the ministry I'm going to Africa with last night. Team 1 (the team I was originally supposed to go with) is no longer going to Uganda. There were not enough people signed up. So Sherry asked me to switch to Team 2 and be gone July 4-July 19. I couldn't be more thrilled.

HTC (my old drama group) is disbanding. It kinda feels like a piece of me is dying. It was my second family growing up. But before it completely dies, we are doing one last performance, and it's set when I was supposed to be in Uganda. I was really upset when I found out cause I didn't want to miss this one last time to be a family, but now it looks like I won't have to.

Jesus is kinda amazingly awesome like that. Also, the price of my trip got lowered by about $500 because we are no longer traveling to Northern Uganda (a big bummer), but because of this I'm only about $200 away from having all the money I need. Incredible! I can't believe how much Jesus has provided financially for me. Sherry was in shock on the phone when I told her how much I had already raised.

My little cousins told my aunt who told my mom who told me that he thought I was very brave for going. Made me laugh. I don't feel brave really. I feel...well in all honesty scared. I'm so scared. I don't want to be. But there is so much. I'm staying overnight in London meaning I'll have to leave the airport and then get back. I had to switch planes a ton. And then getting to Africa, and being faced with poverty literally on all sides of me. And trying to find some way to love these give them hope. I just get to go home after this. That is their home...But maybe I'm just realizing that these people are bigger than me being a little scared. I know I won't know what it's like till I get there. Trust me, I plan on spending most of the trip in tears. But it'll be life changing. That's for sure.

"I wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to." - Wild Horses

Someone once told me while they were praying for me that they had a picture of a horse running. There wasn't anyone on the horse. It was almost like I was that horse. That was about four years ago and I've always held onto that picture. This song completely captures that.

Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield



  1. yeah!! =] God is way cool!

    PS not a big Natasha Bedingfield fan - but adoring that song!


  2. I'm so proud of you!!! And God is so totally awesome!! I know how much you wanted to be here for this one last performance. :) Happiness!!