Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I don't miss you at all


I don't like immunization shots. It's not like I told the lady at the health clinic. I don't mind needles. I have 2 tattoos and 7 piercings. I don't mind needles. I don't like someone putting something foreign in my body and then telling me it's good for me. Yeah, not really the best. I know they supposedly help, but call me a hippie, I don't like it. I almost cried afterward...not cause of the hurt but the feeling of being infused with something that was bad. Bad to cause good.

Sounds weird to me.

Norah Jones suits my mood right now. I don't feel well cause of the Typhoid pills I'm on, although thankfully I'm not getting weird dreams yet. We'll just see how tonight goes. I can't imagine feeling 10x worse than this with real Typhoid. Makes me feel for the kids I'm going to see. Makes me want to kick something too. Maybe that's just my frustration talking though.

Also, I'm glad Jesus doesn't care about bad grades. Yeah. We won't talk about that.

I feel melancholy. I feel selfish. I feel unentered. I'm the clay. And when you're the clay you have to be centered on the wheel before the potter can make anything out of you. But in order to center, you have to push and shove and use force. Well right now I'm pushing back. That's probably not the best idea when the potter is Jesus.

Hey, I never said I was a good christian. Just that I was one :-)

You know, he's pretty great. I know I say this in a lot of my blog post but I really believe it. He loves me in my stubborn self centered self pitying times. Like tonight. I mean, seriously, you gotta be pretty awesome to do that. I like to think I don't miss him. I like to think I'm fine without him. I'm not really. I just like to pretend.

Don't Miss You at All
- Norah Jones

Photo from dpchallenge


  1. agreed - vaccines are just horrible!

    PS lol, totally have a norah jones song on my blog post today as well :)

    ...and i'm majorly thankful God doesn't care about bad grades. bleh.

  2. Yeah...being the clay sucks...until you get to see the finished product someday...then it's pretty awesome. :) Also, I think it's awesome that you are going to be able to empathize with the African kiddos so much better because of your experience with the vaccines. Try to look on the bright side of that rain cloud. I love you!!

  3. Dealing with pottery this semester really made me rethink my favorite Biblical metaphor. There are a lot of times that I just sit looking at the ball of clay in front of me after a half hour of struggling with it and not a clue of what to do to fix it because it's just so out of whack.

    Thankfully God's a considerably better potter than me and just keeps going with the force and love that keeps pushing on my out of whack self.