I had a dream, that I could fly from the highest swing

Wow

If my heart keeps getting awakened like this every day I'm gunna have to start blogging every 12 hours. This is just pure craziness. 4 months of desert and then, boom. Love outpouring. So good. I don't know why now, but I'm just gunna go with it. Cause I sure needed it.

I started a challenge about a week ago. Find a creative way to love someone everyday and write it down. Along with this, I also write down a way that Jesus loved me. I read a good friends blog tonight about how much Jesus loves us, and in her blog she challenged the reader to stop...and just think about Jesus and his love.

When I did, he challenged me to read back my past week of ways that Jesus has loved me. How much I don't remember..... Jesus was there when I was walking around taking pictures Tuesday night. He was there when I was in a kitchen covered in chocolate learning and old family recipe, he was there when I was crying in front of 30 people over Disney Princess toys.

I once heard a teacher at church say that God likes to play hide and seek like any father does with his kids. She set the scene for us, the father hides from the child, behind a chair or under a bed. But he wants to be found. That's the whole point of the game, the finding. If the father really wanted to hide he could just get in his car and go to Home Depot. But he doesn't. He hides and waits for us to find him. And sometimes as children we think that God got up, took his keys, and drove to Home Depot. But he didn't. He's waiting, smiling in the corner, waiting for us to find him. It's not a mean hiding, it's a game. It's what makes life exciting. The looking.

You know what changed. Nothing. Jesus didn't start doing anything different. I didn't get my joy back because he started doing something different. I got it back cause I started looking and seeing. And I started letting people look at me.

Tonight was what my girls and I fondly refer to as CHEMMas (CHEMM christmas.) CHEMM is a group...really a family. Cadie, Hannah, Emily, Maci and Moree. People always tell me that we'll stop being friends, but our traditions live, therefore so does our family. They are my sisters, they are my mothers, they are my brothers, they are my best friends.

As I drove home from CHEMMas filled with warmth and happiness I got a phone call from Emily, who insisted that I get Maci on the line as well. And she told us the news. She's engaged! We found out less than 10 minutes after it happened. I could barely keep from screaming outright in Blockbuster where I had stopped off to get movies.

I rushed over to see her ring and give her a hug. And I started crying on the way over. Everything is changing, and while I love changed, I'm also an incredibly nostaligic person. CHEMM is changing. We have to make room for husbands now. She's the first one of us to get engaged and before long married.

I don't know what this has to do with the rest of this blog, but it has to do with me and my mixbag of emotions right now. It has to do with the pure meloncoly joy, bliss, and bittersweet nostalgia that is overtaking me as I sit cuddled up in my bed in my Disney socks and fleece PJs.

And yes, Jesus is constant. His love is constant. In a crazy world where people get engaged and the world starts spinned....

Spinning like a little girl on a summer day. Looking straight up at the cloud and trying not to get dizzy.

I'm dizzy.

But I'm good. It's a good kind of dizzy I think.

Yeah...a good dizzy.

Maci made me a new theme songs CD. She outdid herself. This song is me...perfectly. Perfectly and absolutly. I haven't stopped listening to it.

Dream - Priscilla Ahn

The Challenge to Love like a Disney Princess

It's hard to decide what to write about when you're half asleep. I thought having classes done would return my sense of joy. I'm relieved yes....joyful....not to much. Proof yet again that Jesus is truly the only way for me to experience full Joy. Notice the capital "J."

And so I'm at a place again of need for him. And I need a drink from that living spring it talks about all through the bible...problem...I can't find the drinking fountain. Anyone know where it is? Cause pretty sure it's not anywhere where I am right now.

And so I wait. Waiting for Jesus sucks sometimes but it's always worth it in the end.

And then Jesus gave me a challenge tonight as I was writing and thinking. The love challenge.....hm....we shall see. My challenge is based on a verse in Romans 12

"Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality."

Find a way to love someone everyday and write it down. And think of a way that Jesus showed me love everyday and write it down.

Everyday.

I'm bad at everyday. This will be a hard challenge. But I'm slowly learning that love is the center of who Jesus is, and therefore the center of who I am. Without love I am nothing. And to love is my calling in life.

Someone told me today that I remind them of a Disney Princess. At first I was slightly insulted....but not for the reason you'd think. I was insulted because I didn't feel worthy of the title. These women are fighters and lovers, and I'm.....not. Think about it....love like a Disney Princess? Hard! They were purposefully written to be like the most perfect women on the face of the planet.

Cinderella found a way to be joyful even in the worst circumstances. If I was locked in a tower with just mice for friends you can bet I would have gone nuts.

Snow White was diligent in her work and made it fun, and was even was happy through the whole thing. And loved Grumpy through it all? Seriously? Ha! I would have kicked him in the butt!

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty for all you non-disney fans) was obedient but opened her heart up for dreaming too. She loved her Fairy Godmothers and the crazy things they did, but also dreamed about a better life without hiding.

Ariel was a firecracker but found beauty and wonder in the simple things. She loved someone and something that her father hated for no reason. And she saw through the lies about humans and loved.

Belle loved a Beast even when she didn't have to and found the beauty in something ugly and brought that beauty out.

Jasmine loved someone despite their station in life.

Are you seeing the common theme? Loving and persevering through all things? And one huge thing...these women were hopeful through all things. And they loved through all things. Yeah, they sometimes had a little help along the way, yeah these girls had faults too, like anyone. They were rebellious and made mistakes....but those faults were part of what made the ending beautiful. If I can love half as much as these women I'll be a fairly happy camper.

I miss staying up late in the coffee house already. I'll have to find one when I'm home to go write. Finally writing is starting to become my obsession. 'Bout time. It's only been my major for roughly a year. BAHAHA.

I'm pretty random sometimes.

I love Disney....and this song....

Disney Princess Video