I wrote a note to tell you how you matter

Once again with the Cassie's Therapy Video. I Think the only reason I do this is because I'm always entertained by her quirky and beautiful way of looking at the world (Cassie that is.)

Rule 1: Tag three friends

Maci: cause she didn't do this last time.

Camber: cause she's my new friends and old roomate and I love exploring her brain

Vicki: cause I know she can use a little ray of sunshine. MWAH!

Rule 2: Fill in the non-bolded areas with your own thoughts. Watch Cassie's Therapy Video from the top link to see the original. Below is mine.

Rule 3: Enjoy exploring your own brain. It's rather fun.

abracadabra, wow!

I like girls with colorful hair and boys with music I've never heard before.

photo props we heart it

i like stuffed animals out of the claw machine.

i like bubbles blown while lying in bed.

i like Giraffes with tongues out.

photo props we heart it

i like cuddling with animals.

i like homemade pumpkin bread.

i like TOMS shoes.

i like running barefoot outside in the rain to catch the ice cream man.

i like we heart it.

i like coloring Disney Princess coloring pages.

i like making my bed in the morning.

photo props we heart it

i like picking the first pumpkin of the year.

i love Africa and Bena Banana.

today I felt beautiful, inside and out.

in some ways, i love everything

its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular

i like things that i like but i love everything

there's more choice in like

cause even the worst things have things you love in them

i don't know what you mean about things i hate

i hate the smell of nursing homes.

i hate lazy days afterward.

i hate craving Chick-Fil-A when it's closed.

i hate negativity.

i hate having winter after New Years.

i hate being forgotten, but in ways, it's sometimes easier than having someone see all of you.

i hate Joseph Kony

i hate not being able to sneeze when you have to.

i hate this, wow...

sorry

I like when we surely like one another

So, this post might get me some grief, but just roll with me on this. I'm single and I really like Valentines Day. Weird I know. I actually look forward to it and think about it ahead of time. I could pull the whole "Jesus is my valentine" angle, and while this is true...it's not really why I like valentines day...at least not totally.

I love valentines day for a very special group of people often known as C.H.E.M. (Cadie, Hannah, Emily, and Maci.) Most people know about this friendship group that has formed so I won't spend a ton of time. Quick back story. I've known these ladies for close to a decade. A little less with some and a little more with others. But because of outside circumstances we didn't really connect until about three years ago. They've helped me realize the person I am. 1/2 birthdays, crazy Christmas celebrations, card games, and confession nights over ice cream from the carton are some of the few traditions that keep us gelled and molded together.

When the time begins approaching Valentines Day it always makes me reflect on these girls, and how they love me better than any boyfriend I've ever had.

Urban Dictionary defined love as -

Love
- noun

1. Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.

Yeah...bull crap. No way, no way. It makes it sound so simple. It's not this simple. So why did I choose this definition? Because I feel like this is what most people think of love. Choosing to love someone is sometimes so much harder. There were times when these ladies chose to love me. Like when I cry about useless things, put myself down, or am not as considerate as I should be. Sometimes it's a choice to love Cadie when she's so stubborn, or love Maci when she always beats me at amazing gifts (you know I love it Mac, speaking of which, this year I got an Ariel Pez dispenser and an awesome handmade card for Valentines Day), or love Mim when her and I bicker about pointless stuff, like wedding dresses (Baha! 2 opinionated girls that work at bridal stores isn't always the best.)

Sometimes I don't want to be with them all the time. Actually, I'm pretty sure if we were together all the time I would rip someone's head off. That doesn't mean I don't love them. But I chose to love these 3 girls, and it's probably one of the smartest choices I've ever made in my life.

Last year Maci and I had to force Cadie and Mim to hang out with their boyfriends instead of us for Valentines Day. Well, maybe force is the wrong word. After all, Austin and Zach are becoming as much a part of the family as the girls, but there's really nothing quite like the love of a girlfriend.

I heard this song this morning, and I instantly thought of these girls. We'll just add it to the list of love songs that remind me of them.

Shh - Donora

Life's like a jump rope

I want you to take yourself back a minute to the movie "Step Brothers." They are running around, they've just become best friends and they run into their parents room (keep in mine they are close to 40 years of age) and ask if they can make bunk beds. Their argument? "We'll have so much more room for activities!"

I love this. I love activities. And that's what today is. A day dedicated to activities. I came over to one of my best friends houses today to celebrate the second holiday of the year on my calender, Chocolate Covered Cherry Day. I made a resolution this year to find crazy holidays, put them on my calender, and celebrate every one. I have at least 5 little known holidays to celebrate every month.

I came over expecting to just make chocolate covered cherries. I found today to shape up a little differently. I walked in the door to see my best friend decked out in a football jersey for the game later today. Our team is not good, but that does not stop her faith.

We made our way into the kitchen and started talking. Even if we only spend about 5 hours apart we always have new things to tell each other, plans, ideas, and funny stories. We started talking and were remembering Christmas this year, or CHEMas...girl christmas. It was amazing, but we are already thinking of ideas for next year to top this year. We've decided to do joint gifts...I can't tell you what they are on the off chance that one of the other members of CHEM read this blog...but let me tell you...they are good. Like, really good.

And so we decided that after we made chocolate covered cherries, we would start work on the CHEMas presents. Yes, we know that Christmas is literally a year away, but that doesn't really stop us...we're kinda weird that way.

And then we started talking about Em getting married. And we started getting ideas for wedding presents. And we're gunna work on that.

And then we decided we wanted to see The Princess and the Frog, complete with Disney toys provided by me. So we are gunna do that.

And then we decided I needed to put together an outfit for RA prom. So we're gunna work on that....

I looked over at her and said in my best little kid voice, "We have so many activities!"

She laughed. I did to. But at the same time...it's completely normal for us. To make chocolate covered cherries and begin work on joint Christmas present in January. I like having friends that embrace my crazy, weird desire to surprise people, including myself.

I'm obsessed with this new song, life's like a jump rope. "Up, down, up down, up down, up down, yeah...life's like a jump rope." It's the perfect description. I'm up, I'm down...but I always have my crazy friends to laugh with and plan activities with on the up days and to cry and watch chick flicks and eat chocolate covered cherries with on the down days.

Yup...it's a jump rope. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

And there is something to be learned from Step Brothers. Activities should never be overrated :-)

Jump Rope - Blue October

photo property of flickr.com user 3rd foundation http://www.flickr.com/photos/3rdfoundation/1305684558/

I had a dream, that I could fly from the highest swing

Wow

If my heart keeps getting awakened like this every day I'm gunna have to start blogging every 12 hours. This is just pure craziness. 4 months of desert and then, boom. Love outpouring. So good. I don't know why now, but I'm just gunna go with it. Cause I sure needed it.

I started a challenge about a week ago. Find a creative way to love someone everyday and write it down. Along with this, I also write down a way that Jesus loved me. I read a good friends blog tonight about how much Jesus loves us, and in her blog she challenged the reader to stop...and just think about Jesus and his love.

When I did, he challenged me to read back my past week of ways that Jesus has loved me. How much I don't remember..... Jesus was there when I was walking around taking pictures Tuesday night. He was there when I was in a kitchen covered in chocolate learning and old family recipe, he was there when I was crying in front of 30 people over Disney Princess toys.

I once heard a teacher at church say that God likes to play hide and seek like any father does with his kids. She set the scene for us, the father hides from the child, behind a chair or under a bed. But he wants to be found. That's the whole point of the game, the finding. If the father really wanted to hide he could just get in his car and go to Home Depot. But he doesn't. He hides and waits for us to find him. And sometimes as children we think that God got up, took his keys, and drove to Home Depot. But he didn't. He's waiting, smiling in the corner, waiting for us to find him. It's not a mean hiding, it's a game. It's what makes life exciting. The looking.

You know what changed. Nothing. Jesus didn't start doing anything different. I didn't get my joy back because he started doing something different. I got it back cause I started looking and seeing. And I started letting people look at me.

Tonight was what my girls and I fondly refer to as CHEMMas (CHEMM christmas.) CHEMM is a group...really a family. Cadie, Hannah, Emily, Maci and Moree. People always tell me that we'll stop being friends, but our traditions live, therefore so does our family. They are my sisters, they are my mothers, they are my brothers, they are my best friends.

As I drove home from CHEMMas filled with warmth and happiness I got a phone call from Emily, who insisted that I get Maci on the line as well. And she told us the news. She's engaged! We found out less than 10 minutes after it happened. I could barely keep from screaming outright in Blockbuster where I had stopped off to get movies.

I rushed over to see her ring and give her a hug. And I started crying on the way over. Everything is changing, and while I love changed, I'm also an incredibly nostaligic person. CHEMM is changing. We have to make room for husbands now. She's the first one of us to get engaged and before long married.

I don't know what this has to do with the rest of this blog, but it has to do with me and my mixbag of emotions right now. It has to do with the pure meloncoly joy, bliss, and bittersweet nostalgia that is overtaking me as I sit cuddled up in my bed in my Disney socks and fleece PJs.

And yes, Jesus is constant. His love is constant. In a crazy world where people get engaged and the world starts spinned....

Spinning like a little girl on a summer day. Looking straight up at the cloud and trying not to get dizzy.

I'm dizzy.

But I'm good. It's a good kind of dizzy I think.

Yeah...a good dizzy.

Maci made me a new theme songs CD. She outdid herself. This song is me...perfectly. Perfectly and absolutly. I haven't stopped listening to it.

Dream - Priscilla Ahn