Things I've learned in Virginia

It's possible to fall in love every day.

Coffeehouses will always make me feel at home.

Do not underestimate the power of magazine parties and wine, even over skype.

I like cats. Not enough to live with them. 

God has perfect timing. 

I love the boy snail (ok, so I re-learned this).

Beach = good

Never complain about the traffic in Kansas City. Ever. 

Make things you love a priority. Blogging (which I didn't do, and I wish I had), writing, singing in the shower, dressing up for no reason, crafting. These things are what make you, you. They make the day pass. They make things feel happy, even when it's rainy. 

Do the right thing, even if you get kicked in the butt for it. You'll feel better. And chances are, the Lord has somewhere else he wants you anyway. 

Never, ever, stop learning. 

Dear Coffeehouse (a love note),

Home is lovely. 

photo props me

But let's all be honest with each other and just realize that I, despite how much I love people, still need you. I'm dependent on you and the sweet gifts you offer me.

photo props me and Benetti's Coffee Experience my lover for the day

A safe haven: to think, and dream, and type quickly while not looking at the screen as a friend pointed out I do. All of those can be found in you coffeehouse.

You are one in many. You come in different flavors, styles, and languages. But every part of you has a little piece of my heart that you keep bundled up and tucked behind the mug warmer (so it won't get cold).

photo props me and Benetti's Coffee Experience my lover for the day

And so I thank you coffeehouse. For loving me in only the way you can.

Love, love, a hundred times love,

Hannah Elizabeth

photo props Connally

King of the Road

Reasons I am thankful for the Nobrega family:

1) Fantastic singing (even if it is about dead girls)

2) Ability to be loud in any situation

3) Refined sense of humor

4) Not so refined sense of humor

5) Traditions that define my childhood

6) A family that knows how important family is

7) Ability to welcome new people into the family too (I heart you Jason and Addie)

8) An open heart policy

9) Great taste in wine

10) Love that defines my life 

Sometimes I make lists of all the little things I'm thankful for. This year, I'm gunna focus on the one big thing that has defined my life since before I can remember. 

I love you family. You have the biggest part of my heart, forever and ever. 

All the photos (except for the first one) are taken from Jason and Kayla's wedding

And yes, that is my Bugga Boo sining. Ah, what sweet music to my ears.

I love you more than you will ever know

Part of the reason I went to Africa is to bring back stories. 

This is Bena II (I added the II)

Not to be confused with my sponsor child Bena.

We met her in a slum in Kampala. 

She asked me to be her sponsor. But because of the circumstances I couldn't. But I did get to see the place she lived and meet her mother and sister. Her father was killed by rebels in the north and her family moved to Kampala to escape. They were only supposed to be there for a few months.

They have lived in the slum for 15 years now. 

Sometimes I forget that the stories I hear about child soldiers, refuges, and violence have faces. And looking in Bena's eyes and seeing what she had see through her eyes is something I won't forget. It's true. You can see war in people's eyes. 

I Love You More Than You Will Ever Know - Never Shout Never 

Half Smile

I work with boys who hit me and scratch me. 

It's not their fault. They are severely handicapped. But sometimes it gets to be a  little much getting beat up on every day and I hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. 

But tonight, I was tucking the little one in, and he was sleepy so he was sitting still (for once) and he looked me right in the eyes and smiled at me a cute, perfect, little-boy, half smile. He usually can't.

But tonight he could.

We sat on his bed with him smiling at me for five minutes. I kissed his nose, he kissed mine (it's how we say goodnight) and then I turned out the light and close the door. 

Nights like tonight make it worth the scars. 

And in honor of us blowing bubbles together every night...

photo props me

Happiness - You're A Good Man Charlie Brown

The Word is Love

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I'm changing how I look at loving people, and how I look at judging people.

Cause I think I don't, but then I do. And I push away people that could be my best friend.

I'm sorry that I'm not that great at the revolution known as love yet. I'll get there eventually.

The Word - The Beatles

In the land of Pumpkins

photo props Megan Cook

Many people have asked me why I love pumpkins like I do...and there is no one reason. But here is my best attempt to answer this question.

They are:

an odd color...orange. Not many things are orange. They just beg you to look at them.

funny looking.

delicious tasting!

reminders of home and my mommy.

all different

They remind me of people. Some look pretty on the inside, but the outside is bumpy and bruised. Some look real pretty on the outside, but the inside stinks. Some are small but that makes them cuter and some are big and that gives me more to love. Some are awkward looking and some are pristine. They are all loveable. Every last one. If you just find the ways to love them.

photo props me

Mystery Pumpkin Song

(Maci put this on a mix for me ages ago and I can't find it anywhere else, but I wanted to share the song with you anyway, so go pause my player and listen)

Let's teach them how to dance

photo props Meli K Hill

the Wander and the Runaway is born. How refreshing to finally have that off my chest after several weeks of planning, organizing, not organizing, typing, laughing, talking to a computer, talking to a person, editing, and pretty much everything else that goes into designing a website (which is WAY more than you think.)

If you ask me to sum up our project (for lack of a better word) in a sentence it would be this.

I can't.

But if you really insist...it would be this.

To travel around the world in search of people that want to sit down over a cup of coffee (or other beverage of their choice if they aren't a coffee addict like Koni and I) and be listened to, and whilst we do the listening to somehow make them see their worth on this planet we call earth and make them feel like they are important.

Whew. Mouthful...

How about you just go to the website.

What about you? If you could sum up the goal of your life in one (be it rather long) sentence what would it be?

You and I - Ingrid Michaelson

I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define

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"People always want to define you by what you do. I started saying, "I'm not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people." - The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne

When I say I'm majoring in creative writing people look at me funny. It kinda makes me smile. I hear the question before they ask it.

"So what are you gunna do with a degree in that?" - Everybody

"I don't know. Be happy I hope." - Me

*Smiles and nods like they understand* - Everybody

"All I know, is if I can learn to love...really love: people, Jesus, myself, my enemies...before I die. I will call it a good." - Me

"I remembered Mother Teresa saying, "Do not worry about your career. Concern yourself with your vocation, and that is to be lovers of Jesus." So I started calling myself a vocational lover." - The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne

Occupation? Lover of Jesus, lover of men.

Yeah, I like the sound of that one.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Also, on a very side note...I think this post secret was written about me. Just sayin'.

photo props postsecret.com

The First Single - The Format

But willing to be brave, brave enough for love

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And sometimes I forget that love is the most powerful thing that exists in the spiritual or physical realm.

And call me a nerd or a musical buff, but anything that makes me feel like they can deserves my attention.

After all:

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility."

"It is an acknowledgment of the beauty of the universe" and the task of each poet is to reveal this beauty. "It is a task light and easy to him who looks at the world in the spirit of love."

"Poetry is the most philosophic of all writing; its object is truth." - William Wordworth

I want to live my life like a spontaneous poem that God is in the midst of writing.

photo props Megan Mazzol

Brave Enough for Love - Jane Eyre (terrible quality, beautiful song)

I wrote a note to tell you how you matter

Once again with the Cassie's Therapy Video. I Think the only reason I do this is because I'm always entertained by her quirky and beautiful way of looking at the world (Cassie that is.)

Rule 1: Tag three friends

Maci: cause she didn't do this last time.

Camber: cause she's my new friends and old roomate and I love exploring her brain

Vicki: cause I know she can use a little ray of sunshine. MWAH!

Rule 2: Fill in the non-bolded areas with your own thoughts. Watch Cassie's Therapy Video from the top link to see the original. Below is mine.

Rule 3: Enjoy exploring your own brain. It's rather fun.

abracadabra, wow!

I like girls with colorful hair and boys with music I've never heard before.

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i like stuffed animals out of the claw machine.

i like bubbles blown while lying in bed.

i like Giraffes with tongues out.

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i like cuddling with animals.

i like homemade pumpkin bread.

i like TOMS shoes.

i like running barefoot outside in the rain to catch the ice cream man.

i like we heart it.

i like coloring Disney Princess coloring pages.

i like making my bed in the morning.

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i like picking the first pumpkin of the year.

i love Africa and Bena Banana.

today I felt beautiful, inside and out.

in some ways, i love everything

its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular

i like things that i like but i love everything

there's more choice in like

cause even the worst things have things you love in them

i don't know what you mean about things i hate

i hate the smell of nursing homes.

i hate lazy days afterward.

i hate craving Chick-Fil-A when it's closed.

i hate negativity.

i hate having winter after New Years.

i hate being forgotten, but in ways, it's sometimes easier than having someone see all of you.

i hate Joseph Kony

i hate not being able to sneeze when you have to.

i hate this, wow...

sorry

Swing open your chest and let it in, just let the love begin

Anxious feelings are of an unusual make-up.

They're normal. They are usually a sign that you really care and you genuinely want things to work out for the best. Like worrying about a family member, a new job, or even a cute little Cocker Spaniel that likes to shove his ball under the couch.

photo props to me

Jesus says not to have anxious feelings over anything. But sometimes they feel right. They feel like you are caring about something. Like if you weren't anxious then you obviously don't care.

I'm trying to learn that guilt is just as much a bad feeling as anxiousness.

A fun little hippie with dreds reminded me the other day that no matter what happens, things will always work out for the best. There are only two tubes in life that occurances can come down, things that are blessings or things that Jesus will use to bless you.

Besides:

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Just think of all those people you could be loving in the time you took to be anxious.

Oh, and just FYI:

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Now go love somebody!

Everybody - Ingrid Michaelson

You make me merry, make me very very happy

Alright, saw this on a blog that K turned me on to (thanks again friend) and I'm super captivated by this girl.

Cassie's therapy video

For the post I'm copying please see The Little Blog of Happiness

Pretty much, you tag three people and then fill in the blanks that aren't bolded. To see the format just watch the video. Super cute.

I tag. . .
Koni - cause she turned me onto that blog and she has such a hippie heart
Lissa - cause I'm super intrigued what her answers will be
Maci - cause she likes unusual things

The task is: fill in 12 likes, 1 love and 8 hates like Cassie in her therapy video. Below, the bolded things are what you MUST include.

Abracadabra, Wow!

I like boys with guitars in hand and girls with loud laughs

I like sleeping with a fan at night

I like old VW buses

I like notepads with superheros on them

I like swings

I like celebrating 1/2 birthdays
I like watching Disney movies curled up in my bed with cookie dough and my dog
I like hanging painted CD's from my cealing
I like feeding animals from my hand
I like flying by plane
I like driving with the window down at night, even when it's cold
I like finding things that go together in my closet that I didn't know went together

I love my mom

Today I feel unproductive
In some ways, I love everything.

Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular

I like things that I like but I love everything

There’s more choice in like

Cos even the worst things have things you love in them

I don’t know what you mean about things I hate

I hate temptation

I hate not being able to finish writing a song

I hate losing my phone

I hate when my flowers finally die that I had in my room

I hate the necessity of having "skinny jeans"
I hate feeling lonely but in a way, it's better than being with someone I don't love
I hate feeling lazy

I hate death

I hate this, wow. . .
Sorry.

Merry Happy - Kate Nash

Photo Props: zebra.paperclip

I just haven't met you yet

Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

We're praying for our husbands, some friends and I. I love it. I love having that connection with him, without really knowing who he is. I love knowing that I am ready for him to come in and sweep me off my feet.

Boys usually pick my friends over me. It's happened on several occasions. I was talking to my mom about my frustration on the phone. My mom was engaged when she met my dad, and let the fighting over her begin. I've never had a boy fight for me. And that's really all I want. I want a boy to not be done until he has my entire heart. Fight for me baby! I don't care! I told mom she couldn't understand the feeling of a boy picking your friend over you cause she's never experienced it. I told her I would know the boy I should marry when I found him, cause he wouldn't like my friend first.

I watched a movie last night that I had forgotten was so close to my heart. "He's Just Not That Into You." There is a character Gigi that reminds me so much of myself. She dissects and reads into every little thing that a guy does convincing herself that he likes her. She makes up excuses to call him and stop by just to say hello. She's me in so many ways.

I talked to Maci about it one night after watching it. She felt the same way as me, an embarrassment when Gigi is doing all these things because secretly, we know exactly how she feels. Wanting to have someone.

I love what she says to Alex, the boy she likes, when she finds out that she misread all the signs. It's true. It makes me feel better about who I am. Because I do put myself out there sometimes. I do get false hope and dream about finding the right boy. I even have been known to look at a facebook page or two to see how our music tastes match up. But I never gave up on finding someone. I have never thrown in the towel on boys.

Cause I know there is one out there for me, I just haven't met him yet. I'm not giving up hope.

Gigi: Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble

Photo: [EJ PHOTO]

Awkward Love Song

I had a really crazy revelation today. I shall try to relay it. I was reading captivating and it asked you to picture a romantic scene from a movie. It started listing off Titanic and Lord of the Rings as examples. I love those movies. I think they are incredibly romantic, but I stopped and thought about the first scene that popped to my head.

You're gunna laugh at me!

I thought of the scene from "The Little Mermaid" where Eric takes Ariel around town and she gets excited and he just laughs at her.

Yes, that is romance to me. Goofy, awkward, let's just laugh together and be weird romance.

So here is my revelation.

In my head, Jesus was too sappy. I haven't let him completely romance me cause it felt too fake. It felt too clingy...

I want to have FUN with Jesus! To be goofy with him. A REAL relationship Jesus. And that's a part of him that I don't know. For a second I doubted it even existed. How could Jesus be playful? Could he? If he is, I've never been playful with him. I've never rolled over in tears cause we were laughing so hard together.

It was like I realized this huge part of our relationship was missing!

And so I asked him, "Hey, you! How do I get that part of you? I want the dangerous, playful Jesus. That's what I've been searching for! Does it exist?"

There was a part of me that I've been holding back from him. The part of me that didn't want to admit this to Jesus: That I'm disappointed in our relationship. That I want more. Whew.

There was a huge part of me that he didn't have. A HUGE part of me. It the piece of me that should be the core of us. I wasn't letting him be the man I need in my life. The strong man, but not abusive, but not "soft".

He can't hurt me, but I asked him, "Can you tease me? Is that allowed? Cause I like getting teased. Weird, but I do."

The answer I recieved: "I made Duck Billed Platypuses, Rhinos, and Hippos. I think I have a sense of humor! And I'm adventurous too! I'm not safe!"

And my reply?

"Woah...Jesus...uh...YOU'RE HOT!"

My mind was blown.

And that's why I've been writing down how he loves me in my journal. To see those unusual, wacky, goofy ways he loves me. I just haven't realized it yet.

Examples: Jesus loved me today by...giving me sunshine, helping me through my homework quickly, laughing with friends, a fun Walmart run, Maci dying my hair, awesome shoes for cheep!

"And heaven meets earth with a sloppy wet kiss" <----that's why I love that line. It's an awkward, funky love.

Pumpkins! That's why I love pumpkins! I would love awkward things! He would send me love notes in awkward packages!

He gets that Indie wanna-be-hippie part of me!

What the heck!

How did I not get this!?

There was a pretty big wall up.

I was embarrassed. He created me like this! HA! It sounds crazy, but I thought I was going to have to change him. I thought if we got too close he would be the "needy boyfriend." How weird! Why would he be like that!? He's the only person on this freakin' earth that can romance me perfectly!

"He want your deep heart, that center place within that is the truest you." - Captivating

First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes

All I want is the wind in my hair, to face the fear but, not feel scared

A lot has happened in 24 hours. A lot of good stuff...at least I think so.

I got a call from the head of the ministry I'm going to Africa with last night. Team 1 (the team I was originally supposed to go with) is no longer going to Uganda. There were not enough people signed up. So Sherry asked me to switch to Team 2 and be gone July 4-July 19. I couldn't be more thrilled.

HTC (my old drama group) is disbanding. It kinda feels like a piece of me is dying. It was my second family growing up. But before it completely dies, we are doing one last performance, and it's set when I was supposed to be in Uganda. I was really upset when I found out cause I didn't want to miss this one last time to be a family, but now it looks like I won't have to.

Jesus is kinda amazingly awesome like that. Also, the price of my trip got lowered by about $500 because we are no longer traveling to Northern Uganda (a big bummer), but because of this I'm only about $200 away from having all the money I need. Incredible! I can't believe how much Jesus has provided financially for me. Sherry was in shock on the phone when I told her how much I had already raised.

My little cousins told my aunt who told my mom who told me that he thought I was very brave for going. Made me laugh. I don't feel brave really. I feel...well in all honesty scared. I'm so scared. I don't want to be. But there is so much. I'm staying overnight in London meaning I'll have to leave the airport and then get back. I had to switch planes a ton. And then getting to Africa, and being faced with poverty literally on all sides of me. And trying to find some way to love these people...to give them hope. I just get to go home after this. That is their home...But maybe I'm just realizing that these people are bigger than me being a little scared. I know I won't know what it's like till I get there. Trust me, I plan on spending most of the trip in tears. But it'll be life changing. That's for sure.

"I wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to." - Wild Horses

Someone once told me while they were praying for me that they had a picture of a horse running. There wasn't anyone on the horse. It was almost like I was that horse. That was about four years ago and I've always held onto that picture. This song completely captures that.

Wild Horses - Natasha Bedingfield

photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/michellemcfarlane/

I like when we surely like one another

So, this post might get me some grief, but just roll with me on this. I'm single and I really like Valentines Day. Weird I know. I actually look forward to it and think about it ahead of time. I could pull the whole "Jesus is my valentine" angle, and while this is true...it's not really why I like valentines day...at least not totally.

I love valentines day for a very special group of people often known as C.H.E.M. (Cadie, Hannah, Emily, and Maci.) Most people know about this friendship group that has formed so I won't spend a ton of time. Quick back story. I've known these ladies for close to a decade. A little less with some and a little more with others. But because of outside circumstances we didn't really connect until about three years ago. They've helped me realize the person I am. 1/2 birthdays, crazy Christmas celebrations, card games, and confession nights over ice cream from the carton are some of the few traditions that keep us gelled and molded together.

When the time begins approaching Valentines Day it always makes me reflect on these girls, and how they love me better than any boyfriend I've ever had.

Urban Dictionary defined love as -

Love
- noun

1. Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you're in love you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.

Yeah...bull crap. No way, no way. It makes it sound so simple. It's not this simple. So why did I choose this definition? Because I feel like this is what most people think of love. Choosing to love someone is sometimes so much harder. There were times when these ladies chose to love me. Like when I cry about useless things, put myself down, or am not as considerate as I should be. Sometimes it's a choice to love Cadie when she's so stubborn, or love Maci when she always beats me at amazing gifts (you know I love it Mac, speaking of which, this year I got an Ariel Pez dispenser and an awesome handmade card for Valentines Day), or love Mim when her and I bicker about pointless stuff, like wedding dresses (Baha! 2 opinionated girls that work at bridal stores isn't always the best.)

Sometimes I don't want to be with them all the time. Actually, I'm pretty sure if we were together all the time I would rip someone's head off. That doesn't mean I don't love them. But I chose to love these 3 girls, and it's probably one of the smartest choices I've ever made in my life.

Last year Maci and I had to force Cadie and Mim to hang out with their boyfriends instead of us for Valentines Day. Well, maybe force is the wrong word. After all, Austin and Zach are becoming as much a part of the family as the girls, but there's really nothing quite like the love of a girlfriend.

I heard this song this morning, and I instantly thought of these girls. We'll just add it to the list of love songs that remind me of them.

Shh - Donora