Thursday, November 4, 2010

Half Smile

I work with boys who hit me and scratch me. 

It's not their fault. They are severely handicapped. But sometimes it gets to be a  little much getting beat up on every day and I hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. 

But tonight, I was tucking the little one in, and he was sleepy so he was sitting still (for once) and he looked me right in the eyes and smiled at me a cute, perfect, little-boy, half smile. He usually can't.

But tonight he could.

We sat on his bed with him smiling at me for five minutes. I kissed his nose, he kissed mine (it's how we say goodnight) and then I turned out the light and close the door. 

Nights like tonight make it worth the scars. 

And in honor of us blowing bubbles together every night...

photo props me

Happiness - You're A Good Man Charlie Brown

Monday, November 1, 2010

This girl thinks that...

...these earnings are a must have for my collection. 

HALLOWEEN SALE BUY 2 GET 1 FREE SHOP SALE- Vintage Pumpkin Post Earrings
photo props etsy

...Halloween was made by someone like me that feels they are never too old to be a kid. 

photo props Dance Bear-A-Thon

...Honey&Molasses sure do go well together. 

photo props Hannah Elizabeth

...friends weddings are such a fun time to celebrate. 

photo props Maci Schwenk

...her new job is pretty much a dream come true so far.

Ogaaap4mxrgipyhps_3aj3jqm6jitkwhu6oiq_nig5nbjcrwqytiakfxud1hno9yqpq8esf0xg4ziwmldtukbhwebywam1t1ulsy4uvz92usix_cdnhdw8m7zeas_large
photo props we heart it

...this song makes her pretty darn happy, as well as the girl singing it.



...someone making a hand heart at me makes my day.

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photo props we heart it

Happy Monday. Please don't get to blue. It's a good day!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Silence of the Children

Generally I try to make it a rule to not post my poetry on my blog. I try to keep my writing separated. Too much cross over and I get confused, and I have no desire to make a poetry blog at this time. 

But I just turned this poem in and my teacher seemed to like it. I had to write a piece that reflected a piece we read in class, so I wrote after Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "The Cry of the Children" which focused on child labor in England. 

How she wrote reminded me a lot of my time in Africa working with refuges and some ex-child soldiers. 

So against my better judgement, please enjoy. 



The Silence of the Children
for Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“How long, O cruel nation, will you stand, to move the world, on a child’s heart?”

I saw a boy, oiling his AK-47 across the street,
his cloth wiping back and forth along the barrel of the gun,
no father’s shoulder to bury his head into
no mother to wipe the tears he doesn’t cry away,
while we, brothers and sisters, turn away and distance ourselves,
surrounded by the American Dream.
We can’t hear them weeping, because they can’t cry anymore.

And why should they cry? Why should we care about Uganda
and the civil war that rip the country apart?
We are concerned for our tomorrow,
our next vacation, the children’s Halloween party,
the trouble of stopping at the grocery store to get food for dinner.
We surround ourselves with a cocoon of things,
to protect us from the sight of those who have nothing,
and refuse to ask them
why they are standing on a street corner with an AK-47.

I asked him, the boy, why he was holding a gun.
“If I don’t follow orders,” he says, “I’ll be killed.”
There was nobody with him.
“Who will kill you, why would they kill you?” I asked.
“They killed my brother, forced me to hold a machete
over his body and hack him to tiny bits, all the while screaming
my brother, my brother, have mercy on me.”
He kept oiling, back and forth along the barrel of the gun
no father’s shoulder to bury his head into
no mother to wipe the tears he doesn’t cry away.

I walked through the slum, looking for some hope,
tripping over feces left laying in the dirt. I glanced
down an alley way to see a child nursing her baby,
her breast hanging limply from a frame of rips, no meat
left, yet still trying desperately to save her only child.
I sat next to her, letting the flies that were surrounding
her to  engulf me too, and I asked her why.
“When I was abducted I was raped, made to be the wife
of a man who was as old as my father, made to please
him every night, no matter how tired. I ran away,
even though they told me they would kill me if they
found me. I ran away, because if I hadn’t, they would
have taken her.” She looked down at the baby,
and caressed her cheek, looking at her with the
love of the mother she didn’t have any more.

When I ask what they do for fun,
they look at me blankly, not knowing the word.
They don’t know about playing, about
drawing pictures in the dirt or jumping rope.
They tremble when they stand, legs
not able to hold their frames up, exhausted
from running all night away from Joseph Kony
and his rebel soldiers, their own brothers, sisters,
and friends turned against them, running towards
them with guns on their shoulders and anger
shinning behind their eyes.

They can’t see children when they look at each other.
If the wars could just stop, they could touch each other’s hands,
and help bring back the humanity to each other’s lives,
recover and forgive the adults that turned them into killing machines.
They could remember that they were made to be loved, not to be tortured.
But when I tell them about God, they say “He is the one
in who’s name we are killing. We kill in the name of the 10 Commandments.
We see a God of violence and hatred. A God that will kill
anyone and everyone to have his way. Death is the only answer.”

If I tell them God is good, they nod in agreement,
saying, “God is good all the time.” They think
killing will somehow bring them a place in heaven,
or at the very least, keep them from being killed, themselves.
They cannot cry tears for themselves, or their friends they
have left bleeding on the side of the road, because their God
also hates their tears. So they look at me without expression,
and say, “God is good, but not to me. He only loves Joseph
Kony. He only loves our masters who rape us and beat us.
He only loves when we beat in the heads of the weak
and defenseless. God may be good, but not to me.”

How long can they keep holding on and fighting a war
that is not their own? How long till we help nation,
and forget about our PTA meetings and birthday parties.
There are children that need rescuing,  having no
mothers or fathers to rescue them, killing their own
country. And the silence of a broken
child sometimes speaks louder than their wailing.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Makin' it Easy

"Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow." - J.M. Barrie

photo props me


It's funny when a little online test can tell you things you already knew, but had forgotten a little. 

"Hannah is most likely benevolent, voluntarily giving of self to help others, especially regarding current pain, hurts, stress, needs, and problems." - MAPP Assessment

I sure hope so. 

I'm finding it hard to say what I mean. And express that while I'm not great at this whole benevolent thing, it's kind of a little dream I have to be better at it. And fill my life with little rainbows of love, shooting up and out from all parts of myself. 

And maybe, continue to grow down instead of up, kind of like a pretty amazing author I kinda like a lot.

So what have we learned from all this randomness?

1. Hannah desires rainbows of love in her life
B. Hannah wants to live up to her MAPP assessment and be benevolent towards all people
III) Hannah wants to find a way to remember Peter Pan, but live in the grown up world too.

She hasn't really figured any of these out yet, but she'll keep you posted.

photo props me

...and falling in love wouldn't be so bad either. 

1234 - Plain White T's

Friday, October 22, 2010

This girl thinks that....

...loving people is the greatest thing she can do.

photo props me

....the following picture is the story of her life.

photo props we heart it

...bubbles maker her real happy, and maybe kinda wanna act like a little kid again.

photo props me

...weddings make her real excited

photo props Eric EuDaly

...when a group of friends can laugh through break-ups, break-downs, and ugly after prom break-fasts, they are really something special. 

photo props Maci Schwenk/Austin Bishop